Dear God

I asked for a million dollars

a career a reputation

a marriage

a fine house by the sea

and you gave me restless feet

a life of wandering

the infinite path of myself

I asked to see the rest of the road

you said watch your feet

I asked for a guru

you gave me a blood-red rose

I asked for freedom

you took away everything I had

I asked for a savior

you said listen to the drumming

in your heart

I asked for a sign

you said here's the cliff

step off it

I asked for the answer to the mystery

you said sorry, start again

I asked to stop asking

you gave me another question

I asked to be a great spiritual leader

revered by the masses

and you pushed me down in the street

on my face

in front of everybody

I asked for enlightenment

And you rubbed my face in the dark

until I could see nothing

but light

I ask for a new coat

And you give me the wind

I ask to be wise

And you show me

my empty heart

I ask to be loving

and you show me the wall

around my soul

I ask to put an end to suffering

you show me the demon in the mirror

I tell you

I'm in a hurry

and where the hell do I

catch the next train

you give me a lizard

sunning its back

I ask for an ordinary life

And you give me the universe

 

from Reinventing Fire

Chapbook, 36 pps

Wild Spiral Press,

San Francisco